Looking for Bert - My Sweet Orange Tabby in Redwood City, California

UPDATE: After 12 days, Bert was finally found! Thanks so much for everyone who helped me to bring my baby back home. I'm the happiest cat mom ever.


I hate to report this, but on Sunday night, April 23, 2017, my 13 year old orange tabby cat, Bert, went missing.  This cat is like my baby... I've had him since he was just 2 weeks old and I had to bottle feed him. He acts like I'm his Mom, and I miss him so much!

I hesitated doing this post, feeling very embarrassed to even tell my friends, after he'd gone missing a year ago (for 2 days), as they could see what a wreck I was then (and I just cringed to think of people saying, "Not again!?").  Now it's been 6 days (as of Saturday), and I was hoping I'd have found him by now... but I haven't been so lucky. My heart feels very empty right now.


On Wednesday, I had what I thought was a really good lead, when a girl called and said she had him, but she didn't leave a phone number (I have to face the fact that it was probably a prank). I feel like I was just dropped hard on my butt.  I've been flyering the neighborhood, posting on Craigslist, NextDoor, Pawboost... I even did a pet amber alert.... but none of those methods has brought him home, as of yet.



I was so happy when I was reunited with him last year, I cried. Here is a picture I took right after I got him back (with his disgruntled face after his little adventure was officially over).  He showed up on someone's front door on the next block, and luckily they saw my flyers and a post my friend had done on NextDoor. I was sooo grateful to get him back.

For the last year, every time I'd look at him, I'd feel this sense of joy, and a surge in my heart, knowing I was given a second chance with him. I'd hug him a little harder and could literally feel my heart get bigger when I'd look at him. I love this cat so much.  Bert is truly like my baby - I've had him since he was just about 2 weeks old, and had to bottle feed him after his Mom ran away - so he kind of thinks of me as his Mom. If I'm in the TV room talking to my husband, he hears my voice and runs in to sit on my lap (which kind of annoys my husband, as he is allergic and we try to keep the tv room a cat-free zone). Needless to say, this has been really devastating for me, not knowing if he's hungry, injured, scared, or even alive.

To be going through all this again, feels like a cruel joke in so many ways. I planned to spend all of Monday shooting and editing a video, that is a badly-needed part of my business. I'd even bought some materials on Sunday, to be able to make the video. My plan was to garden in the afternoon / evening on Sunday, and then go inside and write out the points I was going to cover in the video I'd shoot the next day. I've been extremely busy working on other projects and was finally at a point where I could be done with everything else, and get back to work. I was really looking forward to it!


Because of all these things I was working on, I've been neglecting a lot of other things in my life... including our front yard.  I'd been feeling pretty guilty about our hot mess of a jungle that has been growing out of control for the last few months. I was trying to explain to a friend, how bad it was, and realized...all I needed to do was send her a photo.

Well, on Sunday, I finally had some time to spend a few hours pulling some weeds, and decided to commit the late afternoon to finally cleaning up the yard. I felt really good about how many weeds I was able to get rid of. It was soo bad!

Sunday was a beautiful day, and as I have many times in the past, I set to work in the yard with my kitties hanging out in the area.  I've always enjoyed having the cats hang out with me while I work outside... especially because I haven't had time to work outside for such a long time. And I haven't had a lot of time to spend with them, so this way I was killing 2 birds with one stone.

I felt pretty safe with Bert hanging out in the front of the house for a few hours, as I've been letting him out on the front porch every morning since he craves being in the sun.  He will always gravitate towards any spot that is sunny.  After the cats would finish eating and I'd clean their litterbox, I'd call him: "Bertie... C'mere, baby!" and he'd scurry with me towards our front door.  I have a small bench and chair set up on the porch for him, and I rearrange them according to what the weather is like, trying to put him in the sunniest spot possible.

After I lost him for 48 hours last year, I made sure to get Bert microchipped, and to also make sure he is always wearing a collar with a nametag.

Now I realize that, I had made way too much of an assumption that having these things meant that he would be safe in the front of the house. Just because he's friendly, and he always hangs out in front with no problem, and I've gotten him back before... I shouldn't have had that false sense of security, that if he ever wandered again... I could get him right back.

At some point during my gardening, a woman from the dog rescue organization told me that something got mixed up when she was editing the dog rescue blog I created (I finally decided to make other people administrators because I just can't keep up with it myself). Some of the tabs got linked to the wrong pages, and this needed to be fixed since I knew people would be looking at the blog that day (we've been sharing the links on Craigslist, Facebook, and Next Door regularly). So I went inside and I ended up working on the blog for an hour, to try to fix the issues and make some updates.  By the time I got back outside, it was getting close to 8, and the sun had already set. I don't recall whether I saw Bert when I went back out, but I'm pretty sure I did, because I think I would have noticed his absence and started looking for him. I regularly walk out to the street to make sure the cats are staying off the road.

I usually keep weeding until I have a completely full yard scraps bin (or two, if my neighbors lend me theirs). And this sometimes means I am still working in the dark. My thoughtful husband came outside and brought me his headlamp that he uses for hiking, and it worked great.

At some point, I looked down the sidewalk and it appeared that Bert and our other cat, Milo, had wandered down to my friend Laurie's house.  I had shined my headlamp down the sidewalk and saw two set of cat eyes shining back at me, and assumed it was Bert and Milo. Now that I think of it, I realize there is a chance one could have been my other cat Nixie, but actually do think it probably was Bert (I would still guess it was him, but will never know for sure).

I called them to come back, and they appeared to be headed my way, so I went back to work. I have a tendency to listen to business-related educational tapes the whole time I'm working, so I suppose I was a little distracted.  Milo, who is completely miserable being indoors (he was a solo cat in the past who loathes having roommates) is like the neighborhood mascot and wanders a little (just down a few houses and back these days).  While I don't like the idea that it is more risky for him to spend so much time outdoors, it's a risk I've had to weigh over the years, with the amount of happiness he clearly gets from being a mostly-outdoor cat.

I filled up the yard scraps bin, pulled it behind the gate, went inside (probably around 930 pm) and then called the cats in for dinner.... but Bert never showed up.  So, I went down the sidewalk to look for him. I have taught my cats to associate the sound of a tambourine with food, so when I shake it, they all come inside. But for whatever reason...  Bert never came.

I circled the block a few times, looking for him, shaking a tambourine, calling his name, shaking a can of cat food... but again, he was nowhere to be found.

My heart aches as I write this, and I've been crying all week. My eyes are dry to the point where it's been hard to see clearly.  When a pet goes missing, you get this really awful sensation in your heart and chest... like a deep, hollow, cold feeling - that is almost worse than physical pain. It's kind of like having a toothache, in that I feel like I would do anything to make this pain go away.  It is a constant, nagging, overwhelming emptiness that never leaves. I can't sleep, I have no appetite, and I feel like I have almost no control over the cure. I feel like, knowing where Bert is, and that he's safe, is the only thing I can think of, that would take this pain away. I've spent the last week looking for him, getting up early every morning to put up flyers all over the neighborhood... but I know it's still no guarantee he will ever come home.

Again, this cat is like my child, and I feel responsible for his welfare. He seemed to think I was his Mom, since his real mom ran off as soon as she got the chance (she didn't understand why she'd been trapped and probably thought she was going to be killed).

I am kicking myself for that false sense of assurance I apparently had, that Bert wouldn't wander, or that I must live on a safe street and nobody would ever try to take him.  I wanted to believe there are good people on our street, and there could never be any bad people who could try to come and take him. If and when I ever lucky enough to get him back again, I will be keeping him in the BACK of the house (unless we have some kind of fence installed in the front). I liked letting him in the front. He loved the sun, and I know my neighbor Carol really liked seeing him when she'd pull up in the driveway. She'd talk to him and say hi to him, an he kind of became a staple there. Many small children have enjoyed strolling by and pointing at our friendly orange cat, and petting him on occasion.

The part that is hardest for me to deal with is, not knowing what happened to him.  I am glad that he got a microchip, at least, because when he went missing last year without one, I couldn't bear the thought that he could wind up hundreds of miles in any direction and I'd have no way to ever track where he was.

After I got Bert back last year, I made this video, talking about the importance of having a microchip. In the video, I say I've had Bert since he was 3 weeks old, but I just realized, he was more like 2 weeks old. I recently saw some kittens that I was told were just 2 weeks old, and Bert looked just like that when I got him. He couldn't even walk yet.   In this video, I said I didn't know how he got out. I later realized that he'd snuck outside while I was doing our taxes.  I kind of hate looking at this video because I look so haggard... what you look like when you're crying for 2 days and barely eat or sleep.



If I ever get the chance to do another video, with him in it, it will be about this experience, and the dangers of letting your cats stay outside for too long. Yes, I know, it's not recommended. Sooo many animal rescue groups say you shouldn't let your cats outside. I guess I did it not only because the cats enjoyed it, but because I felt very overwhelmed having 4-6 cats in the house at a time (especially while my husband is allergic).  But I guess I had a false sense of security that just because nothing really bad had happened to him in the past.. then it wouldn't in the future. And apparently I had wrongly assumed that just because he had a collar with an address... that meant someone would bring  him to my front door if they found him.

The last time I saw Bert in the daylight, he was prancing towards a small white butterfly. I don't fully remember if this was before or after I went inside... it may have been before. I do try to check in on them and make sure they're all within view, but I've had a lot on my mind lately, and realize I didn't do this as much as I could have... especially since it had gotten dark.

Ironically, I've been having a lot of conversations with my new friends in dog rescue, about how we might be able to get some laws passed, that would enable us to have less animals in shelters.  I am really passionate about this, because now that I'm in dog rescue, and can see that the people are just as stressed out and overworked as the people who are in cat rescue... I really feel like we need to address the source of the problem.  Rescuing is a very noble and rewarding thing to do, but if we don't fix the deeper issue - rampant breeding and selling animals online with no accountability - then this problem is just going to keep getting worse.

The day that Bert went missing, I'd actually gotten up early to be able to film some of the dog rescue people in action. I wanted to show what they do... getting up early, driving lots of animals to get fixed, rescued, and receive medical care. And I also wanted to film some of the hardships like having to clean up lots of dog and cat pee and poop. When you have lots of rescue animals, it can be really hard, and really time consuming, to keep your house clean.

Bert was a rescue - like every cat I've ever had in my life. He was born in my landlady's backyard (one of two litters we found there), because she didn't know how to trap a feral siamese cat and also a black burmese cat that had wandered into her yard.  While I am soo happy to have had Bert for all these years, I still really want to try to push for more county services that would help people to get cats fixed.  And laws that would require a person to get a license (that costs $500 to $1000) if they plan to sell animals. Because $500 is NOTHING to the amount of money it will cost other people down the line, to take care of all the other animals that will wind up in shelters, beacause of their actions (or inactions).

A cat or a dog is a huge responsibility, and I am fully aware that, over the years, I have not been fully equipped to take care of all the cats that have come into my life. But I couldn't bear to take them to the pound, knowing that they would be euthanized, OR that if they weren't euthanized, then some other cat that was there, would be.

I am that person who just fell into cat rescue. I had considered myself much more of a dog person. But when I got my cats, one by one, I really fell in love with each one of them, and their unique personalities. I love every one of my cats as if they're my own kids, and I know that, although I never planned or wanted to be a cat lady to begin with, I can't deny how much they've made my heart feel full, having been given an opportunity to make a real difference in their lives.

When we first got Bert, my roommate Christian said that he was the most affectionate cat he'd ever known. I would agree with that. He's always wanted to cuddle and sit on my lap. He has been such a joy for me to have him all these years, and without him my heart has an enormous hole in it. I am praying every day that he will be returned safely to me somehow, and although every day is looking darker, I have to have faith that he is somehow in a good place. I have to believe that whoever has him will find it in their heart to let him somehow come back to me.

I will continue to look for Bert, and am still hopeful that he will be found.  Please, whoever is reading this, send some good vibes our way.  I would give anything for him to come home safe.

Laura